2015/07/15

*Updated below*

Amazon turns 20 today and, like any irresponsible freshly-non-teenager, they are throwing a party that everyone is invited to. Of course, this will be sans the potential for law enforcement being called, destruction of property, and Amazon’s parents finding out.

“And someone threw up in your grandmother’s antique decanter!”

So what can we expect from Prime Day? Well … no one can quite say, exactly. It’s being touted as a shopping event greater than Black Friday, but unlike the much mythologized day after Thanksgiving, is a bit unprecedented in the sense that a large online retailer is having a bonkers sale that you have to “pay” to get. We went all quote-unquote on you there because while you have to sign up for the $99 Prime membership, you can do the free trial they offer and still reap the benefits. (Of course, how many of you will forget to unsubscribe?)

Unpredictably considered, we still have a some questions surrounding this most joyous of days. Like, say, who is going to benefit the most out of this? We’ve already seen one major retailer come out swinging when Wal-Mart capitalized on the Prime Day hype by announcing week-long shipping deals and sales on their products.

How do we save money and live better when you don’t even sell whatever this thing is, Wal-Mart. Come on.

Will Amazon even benefit the most? One of the obvious points of this campaign is to rope in more Prime subscribers. Despite being one of the most popular sites in the cosmos, Amazon isn’t as profitable as you would think. The actual product lines they put out are very small in comparison to the retailers they support, and also don’t generate a lot of cash. With much more on the line than people probably realize, we want to know …

Where’s Amazon’s Email Marketing?

More than a few of us at the WhatCounts office are regular Amazon users (how else are we supposed to get same-day granite mortars and pestles whenever we want to make some killer guac?) and, being that we’re into this whole email thing, we’re curious about the lack of email marketing on Amazon’s part.

Guac for days.

They have a landing page on the site, of course, and a banner at the top of every page. But that same type of promoting is oddly missing from literally any emails they’ve sent to us recently. Even their newsletter, the last one being the May edition, makes no mention of this.

Sure, the buzz has more or less generated itself, but the lack of CTAs in any emails they send to customers seems to be a weird oversight. Also a weird oversight: Reaching out to non-Prime members.

Where’s The Re-Engagement?

We’ve talked previously about the likelihood of past customers spending again. And the best way to get those individuals back is to re-engage with them. The most of the small sample pool of non-Prime folks — only agreeing to answer our questions after we apologized for berating them for not being Prime members — said they received no emails informing them about Prime Day. One guy did, but it was telling him about great deals for Miracle-Gro. That he bought one time. Miracle-Gro.

Miracle-Gro.

Where’s The Launch?

Chubbies have been making waves since they hit the market four years ago. And they did it by straight killing it with their marketing game. A perfect example is from this year, with what they were calling “4th Of Julyber.” They had a great build up to it, laying out exactly what customers could expect, and then when launch day hit, they sent out an email letting folks know it was time to get after it.

We would’ve rolled with “BAEBAEEEEEE,” but we’re also not at all hip.

Not so much from Amazon. The Prime users here combed inboxes and spam folders and found nothing like what Chubbies did. Still the only indication was the aforementioned email for Miracle-Gro. But, you know, Miracle-Gro.

So What Did We Learn?

3. Amazon Utilized Precisely Zero Email Marketing

On our end, the Prime users around the office were pretty sad. Like sad when someone tells you that there will be a bounce house at your birthday party, but on the big day there’s only a trampoline. And then one of your friends breaks an arm playing on it and the party ends early with a trip to the hospital. That type of sad.

Not a bounce house.

For one, not once throughout the day did any of the Prime users receive emails about lightning deals that would pertain to them. Or, actually, receive any period. One user planned on capitalizing on the Echo deal and came in too late to get it, noting that he wished he would’ve received an email or two about Amazon specific items that were going to be discounted. Still, at least one WhatCounts dude was stoked to get his package.

Banana.

2. Amazon Can Get A Little Testy

As the sour aftertaste of Prime Day began to set in around the Internet, the critics rose up en masse as if they were freshly raised by the Night’s King.

And Amazon was quick grab its mighty Shield Of Sales Numbers in response. Via Forbes:

“Prime Day peak order rates have already surpassed 2014 Black Friday,” said Greg Greeley, vice president of Amazon Prime, in a statement. ”Prime members have already bought tens of thousands of Fire TV Sticks, 35,000 Lord of the Rings Blu-Ray sets, 28,000 Rubbermaid sets, and 4,000 Echo devices in 15 minutes. The Kate Spade purse was gone in less than a minute. We also sold 1,200 of the $999 TVs in less than 10 minutes. And there are thousands more deals coming.”

Those numbers mean very little. Amazon declined to say what the actual peak order rate–defined as the highest number of orders per minute–really is. Is it the peak order rate bigger than Black Friday? Yes. By how much? Who knows?

In spite of 35,000 people being able to see Frodo take the Ring to Mordor in super clear high definition, the criticism swelled to a roar, which brings us to …

1. No One Liked Amazon Prime Day

Well. That’s a super, super overstatement. But it sure feels that way. And while “no one liked” Amazon’s big event, people certainly enjoyed it. What do we mean by that? Well, let’s just say that people had their fun with it. We’ve curated our favorite responses to Prime Day for your enjoyment.

What’d you think of Prime Day? Feel free to comment below!

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